Praising
When
I was a youngster my parents would take me to a Reform Temple in Baltimore for
the high holiday services, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (the Head
of the Year and the Day of Atonement). Near the end of the service there was
always a memorial prayer for people observing the passing in the recent months
of someone they were close to, often a family member.
I watched as various people stood to recite that memorial prayer – in Hebrew.
As they worshiped, I looked down in the prayer book at the English translation
of what they were saying or chanting. It surprised me that the prayers were
filled mostly with praises of God, and I wondered— why they would be praising
God after someone they loved had died? And I wondered too when I might
have to stand to recite this very prayer.
Dad
Many, many years later I was somewhat active in a Jewish renewal group at which
during worship we’d often play guitars and drums and even dance about
sometimes, and draw on teachings of past Hassidic masters. During that period
my dad passed away. I went to the next Saturday morning Sabbath service and
near the end of the service I stood, covered my head with a tallit or
prayer shawl and began to recite the same memorial prayer I’d heard in my
youth.
As soon as I began to recite these words of praise in my beloved father’s
memory -- lo and behold, there he was, it seemed, standing right next to me. I
could almost reach over and hug him, and we were apparently singing this same
song together side by side. Though my father had a very sweet and devotional
heart, when I was growing up I don’t remember him doing anything like this; we
were not religiously observant.
Uplifting
Well, when I realized that the people I was saying memorial prayers for would
seem to appear -- their presence would be quite perceivable right next to me
-- I began to look forward to that memorial prayer. Henceforth, every
time I went to a service of some kind I would make sure I stood and thought of
somebody I loved who’d passed recently or many years before. And sure
enough, almost every time their presence was perceivable and uplifting.
Together
Some
years later when my guru, the late swami Satchidananda passed away, I hurried
to a Sabbath service a few days later, covered my head with a white prayer
shawl, then during the memorial prayers I kept looking around. I had a good
feeling that’s I’d see him like I had seen everybody else during these prayers
of praises to God. But as I looked about everywhere, it was very strange, no
sight of him. I didn't know which way to turn.
Then I heard a voice, it seemed, from somewhere, saying: “I’m right here,
Prahaladan.”
His voice, “Where?” I asked
“I’m here inside you now.”
Be
That
“You can't be inside me,” I thought or said aloud. “I’m not together enough.”
At my level of development and my stage of evolution, I didn't feel that I
could house the presence of Satchidananda (pure being, vast consciousness and
bliss). But he seemed to say, “I don't care. Be That anyway – even in
the midst of your strengths and weaknesses.”
Blessings
More years passed. I stayed active in the chavurah, the Jewish renewal
fellowship. Once in awhile I was invited to help guide a Sabbath service.
There's a place in that morning service where some people come up to the altar
and there's a reading from scripture they are exposed to. This is a sensitive
time and important. Then right after the scriptural reading the person who's
coordinating that part of the service gives a blessing to the people that came
forward.
Sometimes I found myself in that role and I’d ask God to bless those of us
standing here for this and that. I felt somewhat self-consciousness about doing
this and mentioned this over the phone one day when I was speaking to one of my
teachers, Rabbi Shefa Gold. I told her I felt a little hesitant calling
blessings down on us. “Who am I to be giving blessings to anyone?” I asked.
She said, “You’re not up there to receive a blessing at those times. And you’re
not giving the blessings. “You’re channeling blessings from the Source, from
God. You’re in the role of kohan, of priest at such times. Just be a
pure channel.”
Insight
So,
if we are channeling God’s blessings is there an appropriate ways to do so? I
remembered I got the message that even with our less than noble stuff that's
not yet resolved, even with our imperfections, we can put all that those aside
for little while and when were in such a role be a clear channel of blessings
from the Source. That was an important wisdom insight.
Contentment
Now,
sitting outside in the grass as the sun comes down in the late afternoon- early
evening, I’m looking at the trees all beautifully colored by the sun's gold
rays, and I’m feeling grateful to be here and to have this experience. What I'm
trying to learn nowadays is the practice of santoshi, which is Sanskrit
for Contentment, one of the 10 Yoga virtues we’re invited to take on --
the practice of Contentment.
Practice
Practice
Contentment,
it is said, is being comfortable with what comes and with what goes, not being
tossed about mentally or emotionally by the waves in life – keeping our
equanimity in all conditions. Though I’ve often heard of the Yamas and
Niyamas, the ten Yoga Virtues, I’ve never really focused in on this one –
Contentment, completely accepting what comes and completely accepting what
goes, the practice of Contentment. I'm going to take it on and see if I can
learn something.
Om
We get better with practice. Anything we practice, even in the late hours of
our lives, we get better at it.
